Don't leave me
by Ouma
Summary: All Tokiya want is Otoya but he has become to obsess that he doesn't want Otoya to be with someone else or he go crazy, no matter how much he hurts Otoya...Otoya still love him. Warning, involve S and M!
1. Chapter 1

_Don't go._

"Let go of me Tokiya, I'm not going to disappear forever or anything. I will be back soon so don't worry."

_Don't leave me alone._

"Tokiya….please don't show me that face. I say I will be back didn't I? I will be in England for two years, I will send you postcard and call you every day I promise so please smile. Aren't you happy for me Tokiya, this kind of job only come one in a lifetime so be happy for me at least once. Why can't you do that? I always support you in your entire job why can't you do the same?"

Otoya pat Tokiya head, he has already packed all his stuff. He can't stay long anymore since the plane won't wait for him so he better go now.

"I will be back, I promise."

_Do you still want to go after all my begging?_

"I love you Tokiya so please don't be sad about this. Please smile for me." Otoya ask, looking at his boyfriend that still doesn't want him to go. Griping his hand tight saying that he's in love with him many times but Tokiya glare at him. He's angrier than ever.

"If you love me why do you have to go Otoya, stay here in Japan with me. You don't have to work for the rest of your life I will give money for you." Tokiya still want Otoya to stay with him but Otoya just shook his head.

"Let go of me…..please." Otoya smile at Tokiya, it's a painful smile since he really want his boyfriend to feel happy for him. This job only comes once in a lifetime so he really hopes that Tokiya will be happy for him.

Tokiya seems getting angrier than he usually is, all what he did seems wrong and the old scar that he has cause hasn't disappear yet but he can hide it with make up during interview. Just like everyone has thought he got abuse by his own boyfriend. Doesn't want Otoya to left him he will do anything to make him stay even if it means to kill that person.

"I told you to stay why can't you understand that simple thing?" Tokiya shouts and pull Otoya hair making the boy scream, every time he do something to upset Tokiya he will always pull the boy hair.

"Please stop!" Otoya beg.

Punching the boy face making him scream for help even more, smiling as he sees Otoya is so weak as he fell on the ground coughing out blood.

_I won't let anyone else leave me, stay here with me._

"Stop Tokiya! Please stop!" Otoya cry as Tokiya drag him to their room, Tokiya didn't change at all. It has been four years since they live together but somehow Tokiya didn't seem to care about his feeling and always being selfish. It hurts his heart somehow to see him being weak like this. If only Tokiya realize how much he was hurt by his hand.

Never stop torturing him but he still say he's in love with Tokiya no matter what have happen to him.

"_Are you really sure he's in love with you?" Ren asks._

"_Please just leave me alone."_

"_Do you want him to keep hurting you this is the fifth time you're in the hospital, why can't you just move out from that house! Everyone is ready to offer some help for you. I and the others are worry about you."_

"_I don't want to cause any problem to you guys."_

"_That's what friends are for." _

_When Ren pat Otoya head Tokiya enter and quickly ran toward Ren and give him a good punch at the stomach. Otoya can't help but just stood there frighten as Tokiya beat Ren. He is afraid of the person he fell in love with, the first time they met Tokiya was a gentle person and always smile but after they live together everything change. _

_His no longer the same person, now the Tokiya he know has change into a person that likes fighting more than anything else. Always go out with different woman but when he sees Otoya talk to his old friends will always get angry and start punching his friend and himself._

_"Why can't you understand that you belong only to me?" Tokiya drag Otoya out._

_"Otoya!" Ren shouts._

"Please stop this, you're hurting me!" Otoya cry out as Tokiya tie his leg and hands.

"You're planning to run away from me aren't you?" Tokiya smash the window letting his hand bleed but he doesn't feel hurt at all. His action and his heart has become a monster. He is such a terrified man.

"Please stop doing this, how many times I have to convince you that I will always love you Tokiya."

"I won't believe you, everyone always lie to me. They will leave me once they got bored or me. That is how it always been in my entire life. You won't understand this Otoya, I won't let anyone else leave me anymore."

Seeing Tokiya cry make him realize, Tokiya just doesn't want being alone but the way he show it is wrong. By letting out all his anger to him is wrong but since he's Tokiya lover this is the least he can do isn't it so…..

"Kiss me." Otoya says and close his eyes.

Tokiya came close to Otoya lean down getting near to him and brush his lips against his. Wanting Otoya to belong to him, to take every part of that person so no matter what happen he will be by his side until the end of his life that is his dream and wish. That's how he wants.

Embracing Otoya and lick the blood that he makes that is flowing down from Otoya head, flowing down to his neck. He licks it feeling its sweetness and bitterness.

"I won't go so please don't be angry."

Tokiya smile and embrace Otoya. "That is good. Now Otoya is only mine."

Otoya try not to cry, it is so painful and he need some pain killers immediately but if he scream of pain Tokiya will get angry for sure so he bit his lips trying to suppress the pain. Why did he do to deserve this?

"You're looking at something else Otoya." Tokiya use his warning tone making Otoya shiver.

"No I'm not." Otoya try to find a way out of this situation but Tokiya force Otoya to look at him using force with both of his hand. Smirk to see tears came out of Otoya eyes.

"That is not good, my love shouldn't cry when he see his beloved person. You should smile when you see me."

Otoya shout in pain and instead of tears blood came out from his eyes as Tokiya put in his fingers inside. Laughing as he sees Otoya was screaming in pain and then put his fingers deeper inside laughing as hard as he can enjoying to see the person in pain. Watching the blood flow out faster make him even more excited after a few moment he take the eye-ball out and put it into his mouth chewing it.

"Delicious." Tokiya say and lick the blood that has cover half of Otoya face.

Otoya can't cry anymore, he can't faint at all. Now he is just praying for the pain to go away and pray that Tokiya will stop this. It hurts so much.

"I love you…I love you." Tokiya repeat and embrace the boy who can't even move his body anymore, ignoring the blood that is still coming out from the eyes. "You belong to me and only me."

It was then he feel like suicide so he can run away from him.

"Tell me you love me Otoya."

"I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you Tokiya."

"More!"

"I love you. I love you."

It so painful to even move his mouth but if he don't say it Tokiya might even cut his tongue or cut his legs. Tokiya will do anything just like last time he even take a knife and stab Otoya at the leg so he can't move and stay at home at most of the time with Tokiya but never once in his life he hate Tokiya. No matter how much thing he done to him he still loves that person.

He feel sorry for himself because he fell in love with someone like him despite that his friend keep warning him not to get close to someone as dangerous as him. Being fool by the outer appearance now being locked in a cage where he couldn't escape thinking if he chooses this path better stay inside it then going out making a new start. Leaving Tokiya alone in that path makes him guilty so he stays.

Staying close to the guy no matter how long it took he just want being with Tokiya and that's all.

"Hm….." Tokiya sigh as he wrap Otoya eyes, cover his right eyes. "Done!" He says excitedly as the blood didn't come out anymore, Otoya just stay silent as his boyfriend embrace him.

"Sorry about hurting you, this is all your fault for looking at something else that is not me. So remember this, if you ever look at something else again I won't hesitate to eat one more of your eye-ball and make you see darkness for your whole life."

Otoya nodded.

"Say something!" Tokiya slap Otoya face.

"Yes, Tokiya." Otoya says as he receives another painful mark, this will leave another mark on his face. Because of this he has to wear make up to hide this entire scar and bruise that Tokiya is giving him. Well he doesn't have to anymore since slowly people know that he got abuse.

"Good boy!" Tokiya says and put on the chain at Otoya, he whistle as he walk out from the room leaving Otoya all alone.

Otoya fell on the ground start to cry. "AH!" He let out a soft scream.

Tokiya just stood near the door hearing Otoya crying, he just smile as he hears it. "Otoya belong to mine." He says as he walks away.

It has been four years since they start living together and every day Otoya has to experience hell no matter what. If he got a job Tokiya will force him to stay so nobody will Take Otoya away. In his mind this is how he shows his love to Otoya but he never knew what sequences that he causes because of this.

"Ouch…." Otoya cough out some blood, coughing already hurts so much.

Rubbing his tummy feeling more is coming out, he barely speak now because now Tokiya has a habit of punching him and pulling his hair. Good thing he didn't use a knife like last time, he almost die back then.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hu…..huh….hm….." Tokiya hum some melody as he let his fingers run through Otoya hair. Do it gently and carefully with care.

Otoya just rest his head on Tokiya laps can't move much since last night Tokiya isn't very gentle with him on bed. (You guys know what I meant) He never gentle to him anyway but he can't get use to it yet. Even though it has been more years since they get together.

"Do you love me?" Tokiya asks as he pinch Otoya cheek smiling sweetly to him but his smile is just a mask since his true self is scarier, way scarier than anything else. Looking at his eyes there's darkness inside and coldness that he will never forget.

"I love you." Otoya says.

He doesn't want to make this person angrier or lonely so wouldn't it best if he stay by Tokiya side a little more longer, his bandage start to come loose and Tokiya quickly tighten it as he see blood come out. Otoya didn't scream in pain scare if it make Tokiya angry so every time he will bite his lips.

Feeling Tokiya hands touching him, it's warm like a human but his heart is already become a monster, normal people will run away once they know what Tokiya really is but Otoya is different he want to stay by his side.

"Tokiya….." Otoya sat on his laps, his hands is around Tokiya neck. He leaned closer to that person and kiss him.

Tokiya kiss him back pulling Otoya closer to him. Otoya grip his shirt since he is there's pain at his lower part of the body but never says anything.

"You seems a lot paler, are you angry that i take out your eye?" Tokiya asks.

Otoya shook his head. "Not at all Tokiya, I'm deserved being punish by you."

Tokiya smirks as Otoya show the sign of royalty to him and that's the way he like it, by placing an invisible chain so Otoya won't able to run away from him.

"I will have to go now Otoya and never let anyone else enter this place except for me."

"Yes." Otoya says softly.

Tokiya carry Otoya in his arms and carry him all the way to the living room, placing the boy on the sofa. Kiss Otoya one more time before going out and Otoya just wait until he hear the sound of the door is being lock, this house has become a cage from him since other than doors the widow is also lock. Even if there's fire in the house he can't escape.

This is his life now.

"….." Otoya sigh. Touching his eye that has been remove out by Tokiya, he never sees someone actually eat the part of the organ except in the movie. Now all he has now is an eye which feels very weird since now he can only see half the sight he usually sees. Looks like he will get fired once his boss sees him as one eye person and even his manager will left him without hesitation.

Maybe even his friends will leave him.

"They nice, they will never leave me but maybe Ren won't talk to me again since Tokiya has beaten him up."

He has nothing better to do here in this house, just sit near the big window and look outside. Sometime he spot little animals wander around at the garden but he can't get out to touch them since he was lock in here which is funny since animals the one that suppose to lock in a cage.

"It's scary to think that I'm the lonely one."

Watching outside the blue sky and the clouds trying to guess what shapes its making. He starts to get bored, there's no communication inside the house which he know why. Tokiya won't allow him to talk to someone except for him, last week was the last time he ever steps out from the house but now his freedom has also been taken away.

"_Are you sure you still want to stay with him? Look what he have done to you!"Sho shout unsatisfied with Otoya decision. "Get out from there when you still got the chance."_

"_Sho is right, you have to get out from there." Natsuki says as he places his hand on Otoya shoulder. "Get out before it's too late."_

"_GUYS!" Otoya put on a fake smile and push away Natsuki hand. "Tokiya is a kind guy, I just fell down from the stair and that's all. Tokiya love me."_

"_He's crazy!" Sho shouts._

"_That's enough! I love him and he loves me back and that's all the matter please doesn't bother with the life I have chosen. I thought you two understand how I felt because you're my friends."_

_Sho and Natsuki look at each other before looking back at Otoya._

"_If you really love him then help him instead of letting him keep hurting you. Heal his sickness. It's not too late for that."_

"Tokiya can hurt me, as long he loves me. That's all that matter right?" Otoya says sadly.

.

.

"I'm worry, it's been more than a week that Otoya hasn't contact us and the manager says that he was not there at the airport."

Sho just look at his phone worry of his friend. He has been friend with Otoya since high school and they're close even though they're in different class.

"Huh! What is so special about him?" Satsuki says as he yawns.

Sho just sigh as he looks at Satsuki, Satsuki and Natsuki share the same body. When he wear glasses he will become Natsuki a nice person that like to help others but if his not with glasses he will Satsuki a cold guy but actually was very kind deep inside.

"He is our friend Satsuki; we should do our best to help him." Sho says.

"I don't care one bit."

"Satsuki…."

"We also have our problem too don't we, since….." He pauses. "You never tell me who d you love more between Natsuki and me."

Sho just stare at Satsuki, feeling very guilty about being selfish the time. He can't help it since he has fallen in love with them both the same time, Natsuki is a kind guy and very different from other while Satsuki music is the most amazing thing ever. That is why he fell in love with them and because of him they both are fighting deep inside who he love best.

"I love you two the same way." Sho says and drink his lemonade.

"We both still won't accept that answer."

"You two are annoying just go to sleep."

"It's still in the afternoon Sho, I'm not sleepy yet."

"Just do something that's not related to me. I'm going to finish my assignment now so goodbye."

"Hm…" Satsuki smirks. "I wonder why he didn't realize he act so cute when he's angry."

.

.

"I'm home." Tokiya walk in the house, Otoya smile at him even though it hurts but try his best to do it.

"Welcome home Tokiya."

Embracing Otoya tightly as he can, missing him so much, his scent and his warm. "Did you miss me?" Tokiya asks and Otoya nod like a good boy.

"I miss you."

"Tell me you love me Otoya."

"I love you."

He seems very satisfied with Otoya answer, taking of his clothes and start to act rough as his touch Otoya body, shivering in fear as he feels Tokiya hands around him.

"What's wrong Otoya?"

Staying in silent, looking at Tokiya face scare if another of his eyes will poke again then he won't able to see anything again. If he doesn't speak Tokiya might even cut his tongue so it's better if he answer than face the consequences.

"There's nothing wrong." He lied.

"You seem to lie at me Otoya, have you forgotten that I hate people lying to me."

Tokiya rush to the kitchen and all Otoya do is just stand in his place not moving an inch since if he does want to run there's no escape since everything is lock. Hearing glasses broken means that Tokiya is searching something very desperately.

'What is he planning now? Oh my god please let this be less painful, please let it be a spoon or fork as long it's not a knife.'

Tokiya came out with a knife, looks like Otoya is not very lucky today.

"Tokiya….." Otoya cries.

.

.

"_Why do you leave me? I thought you love me?"_

"_I'm sorry Tokiya but you're not my type. Also I found a guy that is richer than you so forget about me okay."_

"_All this time you lie to me! You tell me your feelings to me are true."_

"_Everyone lie, so get out from my sight!"_

_She left him, not even say the word goodbye. Ever since that Tokiya experience some more hardship especially that his mother left him. Everyone left him because of stupid reason, true love doesn't exist. All of them are idiot every night he cut himself so he can suppress the anger inside him until one day._

"_Tokiya!" Otoya shouts. "I love you."_

_It was then or the first time in his life he experience love once more._

_._

_._

"Otoya….." Tokiya says as he sit at the side of the bed watching Otoya fell asleep, and trace his finger at the wound he give to Otoya. Even though he did that Otoya embrace him as he let out all his anger to him.

"_Hurt me more if you have too."_

Laughing silently as he keep look Otoya.

Otoya open his eyes watching Tokiya cry, slowly reaching out his hand placing it on Tokiya cheek.

"Tokiya…" He calls his lover name. "If it still painful you can hurt me."

"Why? Why do you still love me after what I have done to you?"

"This is what they call love." Otoya closes his eyes and fell back asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Tokiya….." Otoya lean closer and whisper softly to his lover. "It's morning."

He doesn't want to shake Tokiya or touch him since he doesn't knew whether is Tokiya is in bad mood or good mood today so all he can do is to wait for his lover to open his eyes. Pulling the blanket and cover his naked body since last night is also very tiring as Tokiya was rougher than he usually does.

The true is his lower part hurt badly but as always he didn't say anything.

"Tokiya." He calls his lover name again.

Finally Tokiya open his eyes and look directly at Otoya face, seeing that Otoya has cover his injure eye lid with the hair so he doesn't has to use bandage anymore. It's such a waste to take out that beautiful eye but he can't help that time.

"Otoya." Tokiya smiles to see his lover is still there.

Pulling Otoya toward him and give a full kiss at the lips, Otoya closes his eyes and try to enjoy the kiss so he can forget the pain that is all over his body.

"Otoya, I miss you dearly."

"I have been beside you every night." Otoya says.

"I know is just that….." Tokiya pause remember his past.

All those girls he date always left him, some even took his money before leaving him that is why after all those experience he learn that if he ever fell in love again. He won't he or she left him just like the other so that's why he do this to Otoya, first to let out his anger and second he feel scare if Otoya is the same as others.

Just hold Otoya hand and smile as if nothing happen that day.

_Otoya, I love you._

Otoya seems to understand what Tokiya meant and kiss him back.

"I love you too."

.

.

The blond hair boy walk in the neighborhood looking around since this place is new to him, very quiet and peaceful but the strange is there's not many people living here. In his neighborhood is quite noisy since all his neighbor is the gossip type and has tons o children but this neighborhood is so much like a graveyard.

"It's quite scary to walk here alone."

Sho keep walking, he chuckle since he knew that Natsuki and Satsuki will be looking for him now but there's a feeling inside of him that Otoya is in danger.

"Dam it, this map is quite useless. If this continues I will end up lost and have nobody to help me."

.

.

Looking outside, today is another good day but…

"Otoya."

Otoya look outside the window, touching the glass. He wants to go outside feeling those fresh airs again but everything was lock so he can only watch.

"You're looking sad again."

Otoya didn't tell him why, just look out and then turn and smile at Tokiya.

"I feel tired Tokiya, can I rest for a bit?"

Tokiya nodded and let Otoya sit beside him and rest his head on his shoulder, he was glad that Tokiya is in good mood today, since when Tokiya I happy he will treat Otoya nicely, the smile he had can always melted people heart and the way he stroke Otoya hair has a nice feeling.

"Tokiya…." Otoya call his lover name and let Tokiya held his hand.

"Yes?"

"Do you remember the first song that you sang to me?"

"Of course do you want me to sing it for you?"

"Yes please."

Otoya closes his eyes as Tokiya start to sing, the song that he fell in love with that person, the sweet melody and the way Tokiya sing it with his heart. The sad song but also contain something regretful and happiness that have forgotten. It was just a song but enough to make him cry.

.

.

_Few years ago._

"_Why are you crying?" Tokiya asks._

"_The song….it sounds so sad."_

_Otoya wipe his tears quickly as Tokiya hand him his handkerchief, Otoya slightly glance at Tokiya expression seeing the boy seems worry make his heart skip a beat and his face is getting redder since he never felt like this before toward another guy. What is this feeling he s having inside?_

"_Um….." Otoya says awkwardly. Since he just enter the music room from the window since he is late for class and now a stranger is just looking at him as if there's something suspicious. "I'M OTOYA ITTOKI!"_

_Tokiya laugh to see Otoya acting like that._

"_I'm Hayato, is nice meeting you."_

_Otoya look confusedly at Tokiya and stare at him for a moment._

"_What's wrong?" Tokiya asks._

"_Aren't you Tokiya, the famous singer in Japan and has made a début at America."_

_It seems that Otoya seems to know him but he decide to continue with his act and pretend that he is not what he looks and keep smiling._

"_That's my twin brother."_

"_That's weird because the way you sing is so much just like him, the movement and….ah! Forget what I say!"_

_Otoya blush as Tokiya laugh, he seems like an amusing guy but, this is the first time someone actually knew who he really is because right noe he act total opposite so no one ask but that boy is different. He actually recognizes him somehow._

"_Otoya…"_

_._

_._

Tokiya watch as Otoya has fallen asleep on his lap, touching the hair with his finger as smoothly as possible. Seeing the wound that he cause quickly he pull away, he knew that he make the wound but he can't stop himself when he is angry. Is this the reason people left him in the past, is it because of this personality?

"Love me, only me."

Otoya seems to react to his words since his fingers suddenly move and Tokiya can't stop remembering those high school memories. In his head he keep having flashback seeing how people like Otoya so much that he feel so angry, seeing Otoya smile for others than him, that is the reason he take Otoya here in the first place. To watch that person so he won't fell in love with someone else.

'I do this for his own good, if he suddenly left me like them than what is the reason for me to live? Is it that I was creating in this world so people can betray and broke my feelings? I don't want that kind of live.'

Feeling so angry and want to shout but as he realize that Otoya is still sleeping, controlling his temper so he can calm down. What's the point hurting someone who never hurt you?

"Hm…" Otoya mumble.

Tokiya hand is shaking, he feel cutting his wrist now since he doesn't want to hurt him, he doesn't want to hurt Otoya but in his mind there's only red picturing color of blood.

"Tokiya….what's wrong?"

Seeing Tokiya is crying and was shutting his eyes tightly, Otoya knew this situation before. Even though Tokiya never tell him, he knew there's something has happen to his lover that he can't talk about and Otoya knew it is his job to relieve the pain that Tokiya is having. No matter how much Otoya hate knife out he takes out a small one from his pocket.

Taking Tokiya right hand and let him grip it.

"Hurt me if that will make you feel better."

Tokiya open his eyes and see Otoya smiling at him, feeling as Otoya hand is shaking in fear but he keep smiling ready for the pain. Tokiya grip it and push Otoya down, the knife touch Otoya neck.

It was then the blood come out, a little flow down the knife and drip down at the floor and Otoya just watch as Tokiya lick his lips, the eyes has change and soon he will scream in pain. Touching Tokiya shoulder and slowly pulling him closer and shutting his eyes tight as he felt it deeper into his skin.

"AHHH!"

_It's alright._

"AHH! HAH!"

_As long it's for him I won't mind him taking out my soul, everything will be alright._

"Otoya…." Tokiya smirks as he calls his lover name.

_Tokiya, It will be great if one day I can share your real pain, the one that has causes you being like this but will that time will come?_

.

.

Sho look around him, he swear that he just heard someone screaming.

"Must be y imagination, damn it I lost! I will try to find this house next time." Sho walk back hoping that he will get out from this scary place, somehow it make him shiver and start to think twice whether if Otoya will live in a place like this. It is a mistake isn't it since it doesn't fit Otoya personality at all.

.

.

Ren sigh as he keeps looking out from the hospital. It's quite boring since the doctor didn't let him out at all.

"Otoya….." He says.

Remembering how angry Tokiya is to see him touching Otoya, is not his fault that he try to comfort a friend that has being hurt by his own boyfriend and most of all is Otoya a masochist or something if he is, it's harder to separate both of them if he is.

"It's better being safe than sorry."

Before Tokiya actually kiss Otoya it's better to save him before it's too late.

"I need to get out from this hospital before even saving him."

The reason why he didn't call the police yet is that he knew what Otoya will do if they try to capture Tokiya, he will defend that person with his life. They might even run away to another country and he can't let that happen.

"Find him first, save him by force and put that Tokiya guy to a place where he belong."

.

.

Tokiya just wait for Otoya to wake up, playing with the pencil. Otoya has faint due to loss of blood so he sew the place and it will leave a scar but he doesn't care about that. As long Otoya won't die everything will be okay.

"I love you."

He smiles as he looks at the paper, he has written a new song. That song was especially for Otoya and once he makes an album out of it and his job is finish. One more song and then he will be free from this world.

"It's a new song I wrote for you."

He knew that Otoya won't hear him but he just imagine that Otoya is wide awake and smiling at him.

"It's call 'Love in the Cage'. It fits you perfectly don't you think so Otoya?"

Tokiya laugh and throw the lyrics.

"I will write billion songs for you but only one song that I create for you will be heard by everyone around the world. It will the first and the last they hear me sing differently and it's all for you Otoya."

**I will do anything for you to be mine forever.**


	4. Chapter 4

Dear readers,

Starting from Wednesday my school will start so it will take longer time for me to update so from now on just like 2012 I will update every Saturday and Sunday if I can. That's all.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: To those that hate this story stop reading it and I learn English when I was 11 years old so my grammar is horrible. Also it's my choice to make this into a sadist story so please stop complaining.**

"Tokiya, you should sleep."

"Huh . . ." Tokiya look at Otoya with his emotionless eyes.

He starts to take drugs, it was a surprise at first but Otoya didn't say anything but hope that Tokiya will stop taking it since he start to get lack of sleep and eat lesser food. The person that he know is slowly changing to someone else which scare him, he thought that he will be alright as long he hurts him but looks like the method doesn't work anymore.

Again Tokiya sit on the couch and laugh starting to hallucinating about something, Otoya walk closer to him and pat his head.

"Tokiya, please go to sleep."

"Mom?" Tokiya says as he look at Otoya and smile widely. "You came back for me."

"It's me Otoya."

"Mom." Tokiya says again.

Otoya let as Tokiya hug him it feel so warm and hurtful, what actually happen to Tokiya in the past and the scar which is at the right eyes starting to hurt even more after putting all the medicine and new bandage. Why does it keep hurting? Why does Tokiya keep taking drugs, doesn't he want to live like a normal guy anymore?

"Tokiya . . ."

"Yes mom?"

Otoya was about to cry, Tokiya starting to hardly recognize him anymore. He starts to cry silently and pat Tokiya back.

"Let's go to bed together."

Pulling Tokiya hand leading him toward their bedroom, Tokiya just listen like a good boy and eve lay down quietly when he is ask too. Otoya cover him with the blanket and sing softly to him so he will sleep and he did.

Otoya touch the burn mark at his chest, it was cause by Tokiya a few weeks ago when he is angry that Otoya forget to greet him when he came home.

"It's my fault isn't it." Otoya cry. "I should have treated you better."

He stroke Tokiya hair as he cries. Hoping that Tokiya will call his name in his sleep but instead he keep hearing the word 'mom' again and again which irritate him. All he wants is Tokiya love and doesn't mind being hurt even if he scares of it. But if he throw away the drugs Tokiya can't see his beloved mother again.

"Tokiya I love you."

_Please say my name._

"I truly love you more than anyone else."

_It doesn't matter anymore isn't it?_

"I care for you. I want you to be happy."

_What do you wish for?_

There was only silence accompanying them both and somehow it starts to make his mind even crazier because it too quiet. There's thought that Tokiya might be cheating on him or that Tokiya has a special relationship with his own mother. What if that he isn't wanted anymore and his going to be thrown away soon.

Quickly he ran toward the restroom and take out the scissors that he use to cut his hair and cut his wrist again and again, thank god the scissors is dull or Otoya might just die from the first cut.

"AHHH!" He screams loudly to let out his anger.

He no longer need Tokiya to make more injury or marks on him since he has a courage to do it at himself, he was very angry of all that happen. Why can't Tokiya sees that he truly love him. Again he use the scissors to cut the other wrist and laugh loudly as he realize that he turn into a crazy person.

Mumbling the word 'I love you' multiple time as he keep cutting his wrists and then legs. Blood is all over him but he still doesn't realize it and wanting more pain all over him.

.

**Flashback**

"Hey Tokiya!" Otoya shouts happily as his lover has finally arrive with a smile.

"Sorry to make you wait." Tokiya apologize.

This flashback takes place when they both are high school student and already a couple also this is before Otoya sees Tokiya other self.

Otoya blush to see how good-looking Tokiya is with his jacket, black sunglasses with matching rings and every girl who pass around keep looking at him and Otoya embarrass whether to ask to hold hand since they both are guys also it will be too awkward so he decide not to.

"Why are you walking far away, I thought we suppose to be dating?" Tokiya asks.

Otoya blush, actually he doesn't want people around to think they're dating and the person he is dating with is actually an international star also this is the first time he went to a date with someone. Once Tokiya walk closer to him he try to distance his self that is until Tokiya caught him.

"Tokiya?"

"This is the only way so that you won't run away from me." Tokiya smirks as he holds hand with Otoya.

Otoya doesn't know how to express his feelings since his heart is beating so fast and he can't control it, it feels like a dream to walk beside someone who he has a crush on since the beginning of Tokiya début. If only time will stop so they won't have to stop holding hand.

"Where do you want to go first? The museum, amusement park, the aquarium or do you like to eat first?" Tokiya asks.

"Um….." Otoya wonder what to choose first but then something cross his mind.

"That park which is locates at the Tokyo center." He says softly.

"Sure!" Tokiya start to run and pull Otoya hand, at first it caught him off guard but as he sees Tokiya face it make him realize that Tokiya is very excited about this date so he run at the same pace wanting to catch up. People stare and look as they pass them but it doesn't matter as long Tokiya is with him.

It has been a long time since the last time his been there, this park hold a special memory and once they arrive there's a fountain at the middle which has an angel statue on top of it, there's a lot of couple today.

"That's the fountain." Otoya says excitedly.

"I can see that."

"I hear it can grant wishes."

Tokiya chuckle as Otoya starts to act like a child; it is a surprise to see people at this kind of age still believes in this kind of stuff.

"What is so funny about it?" Otoya sulks.

Tokiya quickly stop laughing and try to comfort Tokiya, it's not nice to laugh at people believe and Tokiya know that but who wouldn't laugh at this kind of situation.

"I'm sorry Otoya."

"No." Otoya pretend to be angry.

"Please forgive me."

"No."

"I love you."

Otoya face reddens since Tokiya just say that to him in public and doesn't look back embarrass what Tokiya will say to see his face like this. 'God, this is damn embarrassing in just one day.'

"Love you!"

"Stop it."

"Looks like I got no choice." Tokiya says as he takes out silver coin from his pocket. "I wish Otoya will say he love me back!" He shouts and throws it toward the fountain and the coin successfully fall in and sink.

For Otoya he doesn't know whether to cry in happiness or get angry and then kiss him since he is happy now.

"I love you."


	6. Chapter 6

Otoya watches as his lover is still sleeping, he manage to hide the drugs that his lover is using so he will stop hallucinating but it will take a while.

"Tokiya"

"Um . . ." He mumbles.

"You have to eat; I make some soup for you."

Tokiya open his eyes and stare at Otoya.

_I hope he just forget about the drugs._

Suddenly Tokiya take his hand and bite it hard, Otoya try to pull it away since he is biting at his wound and it start to reopen again and blood come out.

"Ouch!"

"Where's mom?"

"She's not here."

"Did she leave me? Is what father say is true?"

Otoya look at him confusedly. He doesn't remember Tokiya mention to him about this before.

"Tokiya, please tell me what happen."

"Ah . . ." Tokiya touches the bandage that covers Otoya face. "Your Otoya aren't you."

"Yes, it's me."

"I eat your eye didn't I?"

"Yes." Otoya answers.

Tokiya pull him closer.

"You're warm."

". . ."

"You won't leave me right?"

"I promise, we will always be together forever."

"Good." Tokiya smiles. "If you leave me I will have no choice but to kill you."

Otoya show no sign of fear, he is use to this kind of things already. That is what he thought at least.

"Kill me if that will make you happy." He says even though it's shaky.

Tokiya smirks as he hear what Otoya just say. "You're belong only to me."

* * *

"Did you find where they live?" Ren asks.

"No, Syo chan got lost while his trying to search for them." Natsuki says, Syo blushes and try to restrain his anger since he doesn't want to embarrass his self any longer.

"How is your injury? Are they heal yet Ren?" He asks.

"Almost, as soon I can get out from here I will search for them and hit that bastard face."

"Are you sure about this Ren? Otoya is still in love with him."

"That is what he thinks, Otoya doesn't know what real love is and as soon he knows it, we can separate them. Do you guys want to see him get hurt by that guy? Tokiya is insane so we have to save him."

"I know." Syo join in the conversation. "I also want to help him too since it is my fault no telling Otoya that Tokiya is dangerous in the first place."

"We all want to help but how do we find them?"

* * *

Otoya sit on the side of the bed watching as Tokiya has fallen back to sleep, he can't go out from that room since Tokiya is still griping his hand tightly even though he is unconscious.

"You will kill me if I left you."

He looks up at the ceiling above him.

"What should I do if you're the one that left me? Should I kill you too?"

Otoya take out a knife from his pocket and without hesitation he stab on his other hand. Smiling to see as he blood is coming out.

"Or should I commit suicide instead?"


	7. Chapter 7

Tokiya strokes Otoya hair as he is mumbling about something, Otoya just rests his head on Tokiya laps and stays quiet until Tokiya decide to ask him some question.

"Do you love me Otoya?"

"Yes."

"Will you stay by my side no matter what happens?"

"Yes."

"Will you still be by my side even though one day I might kill you?"

"It doesn't matter Tokiya, no matter what happen I will always be by your side."

He likes it that Otoya is obedient to him, he love it. He takes out the chain and chains his lover hand. After that he checks few times so that he has properly lock it before leaving Otoya alone.

"Where are you going Tokiya?"

"To the kitchen, I will bring some food for you. You must be tired taking care of me while I'm hallucinating that time."

_So he knows he is on drug. _

_How can he stop taking it so easily?_

_He is so mysterious._

He watches as his lover walks out leaving him alone.

He gives a long sigh as he look at the chain.

"He hasn't trust me completely hasn't he?"

Since there's nothing else to do, he decides to count the marks his has on every part of his body. First his eyes that got eaten, his wrist that he cut with knife, his hand that he stab the other day, his face that full of the wounds that he done on his self.

Looks like being hurt by Tokiya isn't enough any more.

He leaned against the wall. "Looks like I don't have much time."

* * *

"I demand to see him." Camus shouts.

"Camus sama, he is not here."

"What are you talking about? Have you forgotten that we are engage? Where is he? We suppose to get marry a week later and I want to see him now."

It was then an old man come out from his room hearing all those noises wake him up from his sleep, once he walk out he sees Camus.

"It's been a long time son-in-law."

"Father in law, where is my fiancé?"

The man hesitates but he know Camus will know sooner or later so it is better to say it now or never even if it mean that it will break the two family bond.

"He run away from home to be with his lover."

Camus eyes widen.

"What did you just say?"

"He . . . He run away from home few years ago."

"Why didn't you tell me? Is this the reason that you don't let me meet him all these years."

Camus tun and walk toward the front door, he can't believe that they dare to fool him all this time.

"Camus, where are you going?" The old man sounds worry.

"I'm going to find Otoya."

* * *

Otoya lick the cream on Tokiya hand, it is sweet just like he wanted. Tokiya is feeding him cake with lots of whipping cream on it. Well, it is his favourite after all.

"Do you like it Otoya?"

"Yes." Otoya smiles and lick the cream on Tokiya face. "I like it since it is sweet."

"Do you like it better than me?"

"No. Tokiya will always be my number one."

**Don't** **leave me.**

He is happy that Otoya still can smile for him, he yearn more of his love. Nothing else seems to matter any more.

"Let's move some place far away."

"Where?" Otoya asks.

"A place that there's only the two of us and no one else, a place we can be happy and . . ." He touches Otoya eye that been bandage. "I want to have a new start with you."

Otoya is surprise, does Tokiya want to change?

"I want to stop hurting you, let's go back to the time when we're still in high school. At that time we both are truly happy aren't we?"

"TOKIYA!" Otoya cries and embrace his lover.

_I want to change too, let's work hard together my love._


End file.
